After The End

I did it! It is August now.
I survived the Camp.
Did you ever go to a camp? Believe me this was different! It is different because you are the only one who controls you. You are the only one who has to set the alarm to wake up and write.
You are the only one who decides if to quit or go on till the end.
Everything is in your hands.
You are the only one who has to fight with your ego and laziness. Laziness… that state of being which tells you all the time that you can postpone everything for tomorrow.
It is what I call a “nightmare”.
Yes, a nightmare. This was for me the month of July. I had to fight with the only enemy who could win over me in this world… MYSELF.

Now… Permit me to quote myself 🙂 …

The first day started… I was so happy when this big day came, I almost forgot I had to write something.
The second day started… My 50,000 words goal looked somehow easy to reach.
So, in the second day I took a well deserved pause and I wrote only a few words to warm up.
On the fifth day, something called desperation started to appear in my mind. I was wishing for a miracle to happen. My writer’s block had still not reached its end.

And like always when I really wish for something, a miracle always happens.
What? Do you somehow think that I started to write? No way my friend! Miracles don’t happen like you think.

This miracle was a discovery which I made… I discovered that until July 25th, it was still possible to change your goal. So, I instantly set my new goal for 30,000 words.
Wow! What a relief!

I decided therefore that I deserve a pause. Of course after a miracle such as this hits you, a break is always welcomed. And again I wrote only a few words.

I am never stressing myself when I am taking a pause!
The only stress which I had was the fact that I was always aware that my writing (or lack of it) was only depended on me; if I were to reach my goal or not.

At some point, I even started to be ashamed to look at myself directly in the eyes. I have lots of mirrors in my house… I love them… but I suddenly started to avoid them; they were showing my eyes.

I wrote more after some days; but only when I succeeded to step over my procrastination habit which conquered my mind and body.

To make this short… my heart started to beat very fast only after July 20th when in my mind another idea began to shine… WHAT IF?
What if I raised my goal again? I had almost completed the 30,000 word limit and I still had the chance to raise it before the end of the month. But this meant losing some gifts which only the writers who finished immediately after July 25th would receive.

So I had to choose… the gifts or the fight with my ego. I chose to see if I am so powerful as to overcome myself; so with my hands shaking, I officially typed my new goal of 50,000 words.
Let’s make this again short… I reached my goal with two hours left before the final countdown for project submission.
The nightmare was over!


Camp Nanowrimo 2014 Winner
Camp Nanowrimo 2014 Winner

Ups… you thought I finished writing?
Guess what?
This was not all.

I still received lots of gifts… free and reduced services from many sponsors.
So… even if my Ego was conquered and annihilated in July, it was still pleased seeing so many gifts.
And this Ego came back to life, making me make another decision.
It provoked me again!
I enrolled in the November session of NaNoWriMo… which is in fact the real CONTEST with YOURSELF.

See you then!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *